Make Me

Oh Hail No

I was looking through my photos and realized I completely forgot to document our hail. In June. In southern California. Crazy, huh?

I went outside at work and it was hailing! Then it poured rain. Then it hailed again.  Like buckets. And it was all over in less than 3 minutes.  It is supposed to be the cusp of summer!  What it is is Armageddon, I tell you.  Stockpile the supplies and batten down some hatches.

Are We Going Backward?

I thought I'd buy a present for a little 6 year old girl. She likes Barbie's, faeries, ballerinas and all those things.  Thought I'd find her a nice little Barbie on the way home.

I'm not sure when the last time I shopped for Barbie was - many lovely years ago, I'm sure.  Lemme tell you, I was a little shocked!

When did Barbie become a ho?  Sure there was pole-dancing Barbie, Professional Escort Barbie, Street Corner Barbie and Private "Model" Barbie - but the bottom line is, Barbie's a ho.  I spent about a half an hour at Wal-Mart looking for the least ho-y Barbie and finally settled on a ballerina one.  Barbie's in mesh crop tops with pink bikini tops underneath, Barbies with ultra-mini skirts and cell phones, Barbie's with designer bags and hooker shoes (well, the shoes are de riguer for Barbie, but in context....) Barbie's with colored hair extensions and teeny little credit cards.  What the heck?

I couldn't believe the lack of choice in Barbie-land.Even back in the 60s Barbie did stuff: she was a stewardess or a babysitter or a school teacher. In the 80s she was an astronaut, an athlete, a veterinarian.  Apparently now all Barbie does is buy slutty clothes, wear slutty makeup and talk on the phone. Maybe she's a phone sex operator. 

Is this what we're teaching young girls now?  That the goal in life is to become a vapid, soulless label whore? That it's more important to be too sexy than too smart?  I'm appalled.Now I see why Hannah Montana is so popular - hers was the only doll who didn't look like she took a facer the night before.

AZ is waaay frickin hot

Really hot.  Like surface of the sun hot without the cooling breezes.  Ugh.  But I digress.  I arrived yesterday and spent today with a friend and tomorrow Mom and I will shop, shop, shop.  Think maybe I can divert her to a yarn store?  Maybe if I tell her that I think there's a shoe sale inside?  I mean the heat's gotta help me out there, right?  Baking all those cognitive function brain cells.... But maybe it will be harder to convince the store owner why Mom is walking 'round the store with skeins of Noro on her feet. 

Speaking of yarn, my Lorna's Laces yarn is in so I can finish Ella.  I'll be like that marathon runner they always talk about during the Olympics who came running in like 2 weeks (okay, a few hours) after the second to last runner.  Which, when you think about it, has a lot more longevity than a lot of other Olympic stories.  "Yeah, whatsherbutt from Oookistania broke a record in shot put, blah, blah, blah."  That's mere momentary glory.  But come dragging in after the lights have been turned off in the stadium, and that's legendary storytelling.  I will be the Knitting Olympics legend.

Years from now people will be telling tales of the first Knitting Olympics over synthale and Jujubees and they will mention me, Hilari Ford.  And they will call me the Girl Who Persevered.  Who, despite her surgery which left her cut open like the catch of the day, she started Ella. And undaunted after running out of yarn, because she was too drugged up to add the yardage, waited until Lorna got to her order three months later and Finished. Her. Shawl. (insert wild cheering here)  I will the Knitting Olympics Thrill of Victory girl.  Young knitters will complete 10ft long garter stitch scarves because they want to be just like Hilari and finish the race even if there's no chance of getting a medal.  Yes! I will be an inspiration to knitters everywhere!!!!! (more cheering)

Sigh.  See?  Arizona's baked my brains and I've only been here 24 hours. Send help.

That's Just Wrong!

I've been getting a fair number of hits lately and I was curious as to why.  You wanna know why?  It's because of this post last month.  The number of hits doubled almost overnight because people are actually Googling "dirty underwear." 

Stop the world, I wanna get off.