Repeat Performance

Okay, it happened again.  Remember how last month I said I found this post from my secret pal on Craftster who basically said I flaked out and she didn't get "much" from me?  Found out the day I was going to mail her last package out.  Thought about a while and included a letter that explained my position. It wasn't angry, it didn't have attitude.  Frankly because I was a bit baffled, really.  I just didn't know what she wanted from me. Obviously it wasn't what she received. I ended the letter with the promise to send her final 2 gifts shortly and we could just end the whole deal.

She emails me back saying that she liked all the gifts I sent her, blah, blah, blah. 

Actually, here is a portion of the email:

Now that I know who you are, I just wanted to send you a little message.  I'm not upset at you about this secret craftsters thing....really!  My postion on it is, that we signed up for a years swap and some of us were not getting what we put into it.  I totally understand it has been a tough year for you this past year...life happens ya know.  I appreciate your note in the box.  I dont' want you ban from swapping.....you seem like you are very sincere and honest person.

I will let the moderators and swap coordinator know about our situation. 

I have totally loved everything you have sent.  The journal is soooooo beautiful!  The bracelets are sooo cute!  The hat is so warm and I can't wait to use the soaps and yarns ( I am such a sucker for both)  I appreciate your efforts.

It sounds like she liked the last gift, right?  But did you catch that line: "some of us were not getting what we put into it".  Um yeah, so apparently now I'm supposed to send her something comparable to what she was sending to someone else?  Something I have no idea of the depth, breadth or scope of?

So I pop back on today and she's received a sympathy gift from a super cool person who is taking up the "slack".  She mentions on the boards that she is appreciative because her SC (me) "bailed out" on her.  Seriously, 3 weeks ago she received a package AND a letter.  Not only that, but she never acknowledged to the board that she had recently received that gift!  I never really got mad about the whole situation until now.  I mean, isn't that kind of a scam?  Shouldn't she at least say on the heels of that thank you that she received something from me and we had some sort of misunderstanding and she thought it best to end the swap early?  Not say that I ditched her like an old ho. 

I went back and checked all the communications too, I notice she never said not to send her those final two gifts....I think when I finish her gifts I'm just going to send them to the wonderful person who sends to me.

Here's pics of what I sent her - maybe I'm still totally wrong here.

Completely handmade journal, padded book about 5"x7"

There were 9 bracelets.  All different sizes but very small (she said she wore a size 2 shoe so I figured she could never find the right size bracelets.)  Some of the beads are plastic, but most were glass, a couple of semi-precious.  I think 7 or 8 of them had lobster clasps. One was memory wire and I think one may have been elastic.  This picture is one she took with her dog wearing the bracelets.

Then there's the hat which I did send later than I wanted because the first hat was too big and not as well executed as I would have liked. 

And ya'll remember the last gift in March.

So now I'm all crabby again.  Trying really hard to be a cheerful giver but she's not making it easy.  I'm always happy that someone thinks to send me a gift - doesn't  matter what it is (well, I'm not crazy about livestock or grilled cheese sandwiches with the image of the Virgin Mary, but I would appreciate the heart of the giver!)  I don't measure it up against what others have gotten or look for something comparable to what I gave another person.  But then I am very easily amused, so it doesn't take much. 

Anyone got any advice?

Comments

[Lissette]

What is wrong with that girl?! I mean, really, any gift is better then no gift, and it's really the thought that counts. She's just being ungrateful. Don't let her get to you, you're being the better person in actually continuing to send her gifts even after her complaints.

[emy]

Don't worry about it. I've had been in that kind of situations before -- there are just some people out there who love to rip others off and get a best deal for themselves.

To them, I say "shame on you!" and get on with life. This just trains me up to have a bigger heart.

[Stefani]

I agree with Kristin - this chick is out for attention. Life's too short to put up with this nonsense. Keep taking the high road (don't rag about her on the swap site), get out and put your efforts where they will be appreciated.

[Jenn]

I stand by my original opinion - basically she's a greedy bitch and she needs to fuck off. Pardon the language... and being that I'm a smartass I would post a reply to her craftster comment so everyone knows she's a psycho loser. :)

[Allena]

Sounds like you're doing fine! i don't know where she's coming off saying you bailed out on her. i would love to get those things you sent her! that soap looked awesome! and that was very thoughtful of you to make smaller bracelts for her b/c she wears smaller shoes! too bad she's a just a jerk! i'd say seriously bail and send your love to other more appreciative people!
hope that is some help!

[Kristin]

I tell you what, she's a scammer. Scammer! I know a few other people that have been on the bad end of a Secret Pal relationship, but this is not that kind of deal. It sounds like a call for attention and free things from extremely nice people, including yourself. Some people just think they're entitled to more than others. But she doesn't deserve you.

[drea]

Hey Hilari, I think you're right. She is abusing her status, and obviously not thinking, as she didn't bother to consider that there was no way of you knowing what she was sending to someone else. Plus, I love all of your handmade gifts, which are different enough to make anyone happy. Plus, the fact that she got a gift out of someone else is ridiculous. Righteous anger is a good thing.